Just came across this story, it illustrates what happens when you believe believe believe
A business executive was deep in debt and could see no way out. Creditors were closing in on him. Suppliers were demanding payment. He sat on the park bench, head in hands, wondering if anything could save his company from bankruptcy. Suddenly an old man appeared before him. "I can see that something is troubling you," he said. After listening to the executive's woes, the old man said, "I believe I can help you." He asked the man his name, wrote out a check, and pushed it into his hand saying, "Take this money. Meet me here exactly one year from today, and you can pay me back at that time." Then he turned and disappeared as quickly as he had come. The business executive saw in his hand a check for $500,000, signed by John D. Rockefeller, then one of the richest men in the world! "I can erase my money worries in an instant!" he realized. But instead, the executive decided to put the un-cashed check in his safe. Just knowing it was there might give him the strength to work out a way to save his business, he thought. With renewed optimism, he negotiated better deals and extended terms of payment. He closed several big sales. Within a few months, he was out of debt and making money once again. Exactly one year later, he returned to the park with the un-cashed check. At the agreed-upon time, the old man appeared. But just as the executive was about to hand back the check and share his success story, a nurse came running up and grabbed the old man. "I'm so glad I caught him!" she cried. "I hope he hasn't been bothering you. He's always escaping from the rest home and telling people he's John D.Rockefeller. " And she led the old man away by the arm. The astonished executive just stood there, stunned. All year long he'd been wheeling and dealing, buying and selling, convinced he had half a million dollars behind him. Suddenly, he realized that it wasn't the money, real or imagined, that had turned his life around. It was his newfound self-confidence that gave him the power to achieve anything he went after. Come what may, never ever lose self confidence.
"According to most studies, people's number one fear ispublic speaking. Number two is death.Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy."
This morning I had a friend call up asking for help with his best man speech, I told him, "Let me help you overcome this fear, because I don't want you to embarrass me at my wedding if I ever decide to take that path." Of course it was all tongue in cheek.
The reality is, that he is far from alone in this fear. In fact it's the world's number one phobia, second todeath. People would rather die than speak in public! My clients always comment on how funny that is, but for those suffering with a phobia of public speaking, the dilemma is very real. Individuals with this phobia tend to say to themselves:
"What if people judge me or reject me? What if I forget what to say? What happens if I panic? What if the audience knows more than I do about the subject? What if I blush?"
A social phobia is a learned response. It is a process that you have to go through in order to feel the thing you callanxiety. The process itself is quite simple. My last two clients I treated were petrified to speak in front of an audience. They both had extremely high levels ofanxiety when they had to speak to people in social or business situations. Those limitations no longer exist in them.
How could this be?
When a person breaks their arm and has to go to the hospital, nurses and doctors don't just stand around to analyze how the person broke their arm; they just put it in a cast and let the person leave. Instead of dwelling on the past and analyzing how and why they are afraid to speak in front of an audience I help them change their thought pattern. I find it cruel to drag people through all those times they felt bad just to analyze how and when their issues began to arise. Instead, I do something different. I always explain that whatever they were doing is irrelevant. My explanation replaces their phobia with a clear positive image of how they want to come across when delivering their speech. By the end of my session they are actually excited about giving their speech and deliver very well.
Donkeys orThe Fear of Flying? It’s that time of year where I am inundated with enquiries about overcoming a fear of flying, I think its people deciding to book early on for Easter and summer breaks. It got me thinking about a holiday I had a couple of years ago and remembered an experience that didn't seem scary until I decided to go ahead with it. I had just arrived in Santorini, a gorgeous little Greek Island, and we had just got off the cruise that had brought us there. I have never seen so many Donkeys in my life. To get to the little village and shops meant either going up a tram, or taking a Donkey up the mountain. Being an adrenaline junkie I decided to go via Donkey, the route up the mountain was daunting and the speed of these donkeys would have even intimidated Lewis Hamilton. At points on the trip up, it literally felt that I was going to fall off the side of the cliff!!! I grew to respect the fact that Donkeys really can be dangerous and I could sympathize with anyone who has fear of them. But come to think of it, in all my years of practice I have worked with every imaginable phobia under the sun, but never have I worked with a Donkey Phobic.
According to a National Geographic statistic, donkeys are deadlier then flying on an airplane. So why do so many people have a phobia of flying? The answer is simple, they create a scary picture in their mind, talk to themselves negatively and imagine how everything could possibly go wrong and if that isn't enough they expect to panic up there and then wonder why they can't fly.
The simple fact is that they are inflicting the fear on themselves. Invariably when I work with fear of flying phobias, I ask my client, "when was the last time you were in a plane crash?" and of course I get the answer, "its never happened." The mind is amazing. If you create imaginary fears, it feels very real. However, if you create imaginary of things going well and confidence that too feels real. The last flight phobic I worked with would use several drugs to get on the airplane and would still panic! Then she booked a session with me and her flight was as smooth as could be. I received a phone call from her saying it was easier then she had expected. I really believe people’s fears hold them back from amazing experiences and I hope to help people live the life they always imagined.
I was in Greenwich park roller blading it was a gorgeous day, however when I returned to my car, the tire was flat. I had a choice, I could fix it or I could get rid of the whole car. Of course I just replaced the wheel and got on my way. Many of my clients tell me that they will loose weight on a diet and do great, they loose weight and then they give into temptation for some junk food and feel so terrible they go off the diet completely, instead of picking up where they left off. Think about it if you just corrected yourself by going back on the diet the next day, you probably wouldn’t even be reading this blog because you wouldn’t have a weight problem.
With summer round the corner, I am having many people call me looking for help shifting anywhere from a couple of pounds to several stone. I hear the same thing over and over again like a broken record:
“I have no will power, I’ve tried every diet, I always lose a bunch of weight then put on more than I started with, I can’t control myself. I have no discipline. Eating comforts me when my life feels like its falling apart.”
Weight is one of the topics that everyone talks about but few people ever conquer. Why is that? The answer is simple, everyone enjoys food, but they never nurture a habit of eating the right foods that keep them slim and trim. They don’t exercise, they also settle for a weight that they think they can achieve not really the size that they truly want so they short change themselves, and if that isn’t enough they are always on the look out for that magic pill or the answer in a new diet. Its like someone saying that they want to make money and be rich, but refuse to work and only play the lottery.
Do you remember how it was as a child to brush your teeth? It took discipline initially and you didn’t always remember to do it, then eventually it turned into a habit. Now the thought of going out and not brushing your teeth would mortify you. It changed from a discipline to a habit. To lose weight easily and keep it off for the rest of your life entails developing a supporting habit. In order to develop a habit you have to take negative thought patterns out and replace them with positive ones which is part of what I include during a personalized session that is tailor made for you. Most people who diet don’t make it to the habit forming part which is why they keep failing to loose weight and move on to a different diet.
Most diets completely neglect the mind. Your body works as a whole, you can’t just fix one part without the other. They are interconnected. The only way to keep off weight permanently is to develop a subconscious habit. This is precisely why my tailor made session has a high success rate. I work directly with your mind combining several techniques into one which generates a change in your behavior by the time your session is over. Most people need only one session.
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