I always get asked about how to increase self-esteem, in fact this morning over a coffee a good friend of mine said she felt that she always showed an external amount of confidence however she never felt that way inside, and it got me thinking about a pass summer gone by
...I had just arrived at Californian State fair, the smell of candy floss and funnel cake's filled the air as we walked down the pathway between the carnival games. I heard the merry-go-round in the distance and my mind was instantly filled with fun childhood memories. I felt like a kid again.
Hours passed like minutes and we were at the food stands selecting what to eat for lunch the choices overwhelmed us, I went for a good low carb option, only to later indulge in the delicious foods after all I allowed myself these treats I've been working out solid for months.
Just near the eating bay was the open-air theatre. As I sat with my friend's Stef, Rob and Eric, we ate our food as we watched the show. Children where performing a dance completely uninhibited and totally in the moment these children were vibrant and alive it was as if the performance took a life of its own and was playing through them.
As a child you never restrict what is possible for you to achieve, a six year old may wish to be an astronaut, a soccer player, a singer they never limit themselves the way adults do.
It got me thinking, about all the people that restrict the quality of their lives by becoming so self conscious and afraid. These self-imposed limits cause a person to live their life in regret always wishing that they could come out of their shell. But little do they know how easy it is to overcome a fear as simple as this. Look at those 6 year olds performing, without a care in the world! What's your excuse?
In all the years I've been helping people I have herd every excuse in the book, from I was born afraid of everything, my parents, teachers, relative’s friends put me down. I was bullied. Yes all these things contributed, but why are you afraid now? Who's causing you to be afraid?
The answer is you.
Well if you are the cause of your fear then you can sure take responsibility and understand that you can be:
The cause of your freedom as well. It’s absolutely crucial that you address your Self-Esteem because research has shown that over 85% of us have some degree of self-esteem deficit. The worst part about it is that a deficiency in your self-esteem level may be so subtle that you don't readily notice it until you thoroughly examine yourself.
Did You Know:
Over the past years, personally working with endless numbers of clients. My research and experiences have convinced me that weak Self-Esteem is the #1 cause of not living one's dream life. Think about it, If you had heightened levels of self-esteem you would even surprise yourself on what you could accomplish.
Not having strong self-esteem in every area of your life almost invariably leads to things like:
* Fear of Failure
* Feeling Unfulfilled
* Being Frustrated or Angry
* Feeling Unloved or Unlovable
* Feeling Nervous or Shy
* Being Indecisive
So let me give you some tips on how to conquer it and on building self-esteem, from the wisdom of NLP. For years I have looked at studied and modelled people that are extremely successful and most importantly identified in all of them an unshakeable belief in themselves, their self-esteem wins others over and most of importantly wins themselves over with the belief that they can accomplish anything they put their minds to.
...As evening approached we walked down a path we had yet to see, we could see a small red and white tent in the distance. Intrigued by the fact that there was no one around the tent, we walked towards it. There was a small sign hanging on the outside of the entrance.
The sign read:
"Your Future Begins Here."
As I looked over my shoulder, night had fallen everyone was pre-occupied playing games, riding on the rides, eating candied apples, fried Chocolate Bars or laughing and having fun with their friends and family.
At the entrance of the tent, I began to peel open the flaps, and walk inside. The candlelight was dim and the smell of incense filled the inside of the tent.
"Manifest your Destiny" a voice came out of nowhere. As I stood there, the mystic rambled, truism after truism looking for a hook to reel me in and prove she had knowledge of the unseen, she was unaware I am a wordsmith by profession, I use my language to help people break through their barriers, addictions and most off all make the best of what they've got better.
Though I was not convinced about this Great Mystic, everyone else was, I will not mention her name, but she has been featured in the media as well as the national press. Her conviction in herself and what she was saying was so strong and alluring that I almost found myself sucked in. The reason she was so persuasive was that she truly believed in her own powers, and guess what she had legions of followers believing it as well. In other words she had extremely high self-esteem.
The steps to get on this journey are easy, so begin with positive visualization and positive self-talk. With years of practice I have developed and enhanced a practice of visualization that directly bypasses the conscious mind and is almost instantly accepted by the subconscious. This is a technique, which is not commonly known. I learned it from NLP's Genius Co creator Dr. Richard Bandler, If you want to learn this I actually take clients personally through this as well as have it as a featured technique that I can take you through on my audio's. A final tip is to act as if you have self-esteem. If you behave in a certain manner it instructs your brain that, that’s the way you are If you do it with enough conviction repetitively enough and emotion then it becomes you.
Edited by: Dominic Knight